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One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The boy said, "I pissed in it's ear." The teacher said, "You what?" He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead."
Gail Beck
Augusta, ME
A few blocks away from our school, on our way to a pumpkin farm last Fall, one of my first graders was looking out the window of the bus,
while she was excitedly pointing and naming all the places she recognized; - "that's where my grandma works," pointing to a supermarket warehouse.
"My mom works at the bank", and that her auntie also worked somewhere. All of the sudden she stops, turns, and says to me, "How about you Mrs.
Alvarez? Where do you work?" I thought that was a classic.
AZAN60@aol.com
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy %$#@! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
I was showing a video regarding the Revolutionary War to my "slower" class of seventh graders. Before turning on the video, I told them that the video would show actors portraying different historical people such as John Adams or Thomas Jefferson. I even told them that there would be a sign which would come up during the film which would remind everybody that these actors were saying the actual words of the historical characters that they were portraying. (I could see, however, that a few of the boys were not paying attention to what I was saying.) I turned on the video, waited for and pointed out the sign I had mentioned, and then watched the students as they watched the video. An actor portraying George Washington appeared. "Hey," I heard one boy say as he nudged his nearby friend, "is that George Washington?" His friend regarded him with utter contempt. "Stupid!" he whispered back, "This video's in color. They didn't have color videotape back then. If it was George Washington, it would be in black and white!"
FKM321@aol.com
Every school year with first, second, and third graders I do an activity I call "The United Shades of America." We match our skin color to "people color" paints and paint portraits and walls, make hand-print murals, and celebrate who we are and how we look. The colors are called everything from cinnamon, peach, and mahogany, to toast. When one third-grader's skin color matched the "wheat" color, he became so excited, he hollered, "I'm finally Student of the Wheat."
JoMarie Privitera ~ Buffalo, New York
We were doing a science lesson on how plants grow. The children all got a chance to plant their own seeds. As the teacher I planted a few
extra seeds for the children whose plants do not sprout. After a few weeks of watching them I secretly exchanged a few. The next day one
of my students said "Look teacher, it's a miracle, my plant is growing". I said "Yes, seeds sprouting is very exciting". He said," No teacher,
that's not the miracle, I ATE the SEED and it is growing anyway!"
Debbie Capuano
My first grade class and I were on a field trip. We were walking along a board walk that stretched over a wetlands area. Along the board walk were
little plaques with donors names engraved on them. I heard one boy ask another, "What do you think all these names mean?". The other boy responded,
"They must be the names of people who fell off and died!".
Beth Weatherstone
Vero Beach, FL
I was sitting, at the end of the day, waiting for my kindergarten class to get ready so that I could read them a story before we left. One child was playing
with a book, waving it in other children's faces. I told her to stop and she did... for 2 minutes. Then she started again. I said, "Maybe you shouldn't go on
the trip." Without missing a beat she answered (very sweetly) "Maybe I should."
Nadine Elhathat ~ Brooklyn, NY
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